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I got diagnosed with ADHD when I was 6 and still concluded I am stupid, weak, annoying, and unlovable.
Yeah I didn’t get diagnosed until like 20, and I don’t think not knowing negatively impacted me. I knew I was different, but I didn’t think there was anything wrong with me. I still often thought “If they can do it, I can too.”
Now I know there’s something wrong with me I do often wonder what’s the point of trying. I feel like I’m fighting an uphill battle, but I guess I also think that my successes are even more of an accomplishment?
Now I know there’s something wrong with me
There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re being forced to live in an extremely unnatural situation.
As an absolutely autistic person whose parents didn’t bother to get it diagnosed, I really do disagree. Diagnoses are basically just descriptive labels that can help identify potentially useful treatments, that’s it; they’re not some magical blame receptacle.
I think my greatest issue with this post is it implies that if you DON’T have a diagnosable mental condition, but still struggle, then it must inherently mean that you’re stupid, weak annoying, unloveable etc.
But I also think a child will conclude that they’re stupid … unloveable etc, if that’s how they’re taught to feel, with or without a diagnosis. I had many struggles, but my parents never ‘expected’ me to be “normal”, they just supported me and we worked out shit as it happened - my struggles were a result of a variety of behaviours specific to me, my personality, my flavour of autism, etc.
But this is the same for every human being to ever live. A diagnosis might’ve described some of those behaviours, but what would that have changed? I’ll be honest - I’m glad my parents didn’t get me diagnosed, they feared that would just place a wholly new unhelpful expectation on me, and I think they were right.
Obviously a lot of people absolutely benefit from diagnosis, not knocking it, but I also don’t think they’re automatically helpful in all circumstances.
I agree somehwat. If people did not hate unusual or different behaviors and treat others poorly as a result, then kids without a diagnosis would not have a problem. But teachers and parents frequently get super frustrated with ADHD kids, and I have never recovered from how it made me feel as a kid, even decades later.
That’s very true. Maybe their real use is to change other peoples’ perception. But that’s very… sad to need a diagnosis to do.
I have AuDHD. I got dx at 30 for ADHD, then everyone kept asking me if I am autistic other than family after meds, it may be some kind of OCD (mom is dx), hard to say, lots of overlap. Medication just made the other stuff more obvious. Regardless, I am very, very exhausted from the rage of feeling misunderstood for so long, but happy to slow down and figure out how to work with it. It cost me a lot of people in my life, but I am far less anxious. The only problem is, trying to motivate myself without the anger lol. I still get mega pissed off with family members not recognizing it. I am trying to unlearn people pleasing.
What’s “dx”?
Diagnosed
I see, guess we don’t use that abbreviation where I’m from. Thanks!
I’ve known several kids in upper elementary school who have a diagnosis but their parents won’t tell them or get them school accommodations or services. It’s just setting them up for failure.
I was tested for something or things in 3rd grade. My mom never told me what the diagnosis was. I was diagnosed at age 41 and my mom was dead so I never got to ask her.
She was afraid of how it would make her look, I imagine, because her rep was all she was concerned with.
I was diagnosed with Autism at the ripe old age of 33. When I told my parents about it, my mum lost her mind because I was actually diagnosed at 7, she just never told me in hopes I will be “normal” and thought she got away with it.
😳 she lost her mind?!
Or in the sense of guilt?
I can only imagine the anger that would trigger in Me learning that like you did.My parents just don’t understand it… (while dealing themselves with it thinking it is how everyone is)
They learned to live with it in a healthy way, without knowing or acknowledging it…
Fuck!
