Mines always in my pocket. The pocket that I checked 5 times. It only appears when I started asking the group “did one of you take my lighter”

I just wish I could bottle enthusiasm. Some days I’ll get nearly bottomless drive and energy, and shit gets done. I’ll go like the tasmanian devil in reverse and everything gets super clean and tidy and I can not be stopped

Most days ill do fuck all useful. Just an entire day of checking the time and wondering what I was supposed to be doing, spending 15 minutes looking for my shoes and then forgetting why I needed them.

If I could just save the excess inspiration from my good days and ration them out as needed life would be so easy.

I often wonder if we’re supposed to be as smart as we are, like in general. I see some people and think “what a fucking moron” but like put them next to basically any other animal on the planet and they’re doing alright.

If we can make it a competition, I once lost my airplane ticket by putting it through the xray scanner. Im a fairly sterile environment, white walls and floors, one box where it could be and surrounded by guards on the lookout for anything suspicious. The closest thing to a magic trick ive ever done.

Lucky for me my wife had the tickets on the phone and the airplane crew let us on but I was shitting myself so hard.

This is such a pain in my ass now that ive got a full blown family. Trying to retrace my steps to find the thing I out down 30 seconds ago. Except ive got a toddler hanging off my leg shouting daddy daddy and an annoyed wife in my way demanding to know where I had it last and that she cant believe I lost it and that I just had it so how can I not know where it is.

I swear im gonna go for a diagnosis when I get round to it.

Can I have even a single trait or quirk that the Internet doesn’t “when ADHD LOL” post about? Just one? Every. Damn. Thing.

I think i count, I cant just see things that aren’t there. I can contextualise them, I have an awareness of what a pink fluffy elephant jumping the mcdonalds m on a skateboard would look like, but I can’t see it the way I can hear a song in my head or the internal monologue.

I can make the visual imagination work by riding the line between sleep and wake in bed, and its fucking awesome. Im so so jealous of people who can just do it whenever.

Cleaning your cup in an already immaculate kitchen is like a vacation activity. I enjoyed pottery painting too but im not going to start doing it at home.