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9 people downvoted this and I’m genuinely upset with them.
Omg I know!! But it's okay I totally have photos of them in the act:
Holy shit, I have not seen a SwatBot in 15 years.
… Sonic lore is really something else… fucking Penders is a madman…
I just want them to finish Sonic Underground. That whole show is the most absolutely insane shit and now it’s just completely forbidden to even discuss it and it’s a travesty. Nobody is clamoring for more of that absolute drug-trip bullshit except me (and maybe chrischan??), but goddamnit sega I WILL SUCK YOUR DICKS IF YOU JUST LET IT HAPPEN.
.
…
…
Ok.
… can you butter your biscuits next?
Somewhat more serious question:
… what do you think of the uh, texture?
Nubbed for her pleasure?
???
The fuck? Where do you get off asking something like that, what are you some kind of pervert?
(lmao tho)
Oh well uh, I edited in with a second question, as you wrote that…
So I guess: I dunno!
Where do you get off!?
I thought that corn was buttered!
…
I in fact can believe its not butter!
Lol. Yeah tho, the texture is subtle but noticeable? It’s nice, not wild or anything but still pleasant!
Ok, so basically:
… was only 95% insane, not 100% insane.
That’s what I’m hearing lol, that a corncob could infact be a legitimately ‘interesting’ variant on a typical dildo?
Whether its for your cornholio or your bungholio?
Hahahah!
(I’m sorry, the reference is lost on me!)
Imho if you’re going for a textured toy you could do a lot better than corn texture, but it’s not bad.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KE3dP2bc-4g
This was the plot of an old AMV Hell video
I have no idea what’s happening there and I’m so fucking here for it.
The audio is from the cold opening of an episode of Aqua teen hunger force
Now THIS is corn racing!
Try spinning, that’s a good trick!
I tried to think of a good pun also, but they’re too corny.
Straight to
Porn on the cob!
Make popcorn, not war
I’ll pop your corn 😉
… no you know what I’m sorry, that line was too cheesy and I’m ashamed.
Well I mean, you know what happens when you give a corn cob a very thorough, vigorous massage, right?
Creamed corn.
It was corny lol
Truly a-maize-ing like usually. 😍
❤️ This trend has been so goofy, I couldn’t resist getting in on it.
I think you should really commit to the bit, truly sink your teeth into it.
=P
lol, commit to the bite as it were
Maybe I have been living under a rock since I never heard about it before. 😆 I am happy you helped me to close that knowledge gap in such a sexy manner. 😘
Lol yeah the shitpost community has been postin’ corn for the past couple days, figured I’d show support for the cause.
Hehe, well I certainly support everything that tickles your exhibitionistic side.
Always a pleasure to see you bound and helpless, and I do enjoy your creativity and commitment to a bit! Curious as to how the corn actually feels?
Aww shucks, thank you!
Corn was a little on the large side, but the texture was certainly interesting. Not quite a heavy enough texture to be super stimulating but it was certainly pleasantly noticeable.
I do so hope that was an intentional pun!
You seem the type to get something out of stretching your boundaries, I’m sure you weren’t complaining. And there’s something oddly erotic about the phrase ‘pleasantly noticeable’, thank you for that.
oddly erotic about the phrase ‘pleasantly noticeable’
Now imagine me saying it in a husky voice
And now I can’t think of anything else!
Aww, you caught the first pun but not the second one :(
In my defence, you’re very distracting!
Go on, send some more my way, I’m all ears.
I’ve never had to accuse someone of fishing for corn smut before; this opportunity pleases me to no end
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Well thank you, I think I fit in quite well 😉
I see you’ve managed to shoe-corn yourself into a predicament yet again - well done!
That pun was almost as forced as the corn was (❤️)
Half marks for trying 🤣
This image gives me mixed emotions, I hope I spend time thinking about beautiful women playing with ropes rather than corn. I’ll report back later.
I upvoted your food porn waffle today! From foodporn to more food porn 😂
Very cool OC!
I like to keep my posts on a theme, what can I say…
(And thank you! ❤️)
Impressive, very nice, now let’s see Paul Allen’s cornhole…
… Paul Allen as in Microsoft?
90% sure the shared name is purely coincidental, not meant to be a direct reference to the MSFT Paul Allen.
… the general name confusion though, is on point for American Pyscho.
Bland, interchangeable, common rich white dude names.
Thank you for the clarification, never seen the movie! Though unfortunately I’m still not sure what they were actually trying to say with the comment…
Uh… right. Yes.
Yeah it doesn’t make much sense…
Maybe they want to see some kind of male partner of yours, his… corned hole?
… ?
I do not think i’d get my gf to do that, it is very funny though :P
I recommend injecting a kernel of sincere arousal into your attempt to convince her - sure it’s for a meme, but if you’re also genuinely into it it makes the pitch much more likely to land.
Also, cheap pun.
Oh, the thing is that she is fairly… vanilla in her tastes, which is fine. I don’t think shoving food into her is high on any prio list. She even surpressed her bisexuality for a long-ass time due to societal pressure.
Interested in tourism in switzerland anytime soon? ;)
Oh boy I wish I could afford to go to Switzerland :(
And yeah I kinda figured that was the general situation. It can help to press on boundaries over time, especially it can help with getting past the obnoxious societal pressures thing, but… yeah, food play is a bit out there.
Well, she was put off (slightly) by joking about sweet stuff at relevant body parts, so a bit out there fits.
Ah yeah, the fantasy of being boned down by a chocolate bar is hot but the risks associated are not. Alas, anatomy does bat last…
Oh, that’s much more than i was thinking, nipples and maple sirup would be a more fitting example. Is chocolate specifically an infection risk?
oh, no - that was just an example. External food stuff is fine, internal use is high risk. I don’t personally love the sticky stuff bcz autism sensory issues, but I can certainly see the appeal from an abstract perspective!
Story Time!
I at one point had… or made ? … an actual sex sandwich.
Gal I knew said she lost a slap-bet with a one armed friend of hers. Having only one arm, this arm was jacked. She did not want to be slapped.
(don’t know if the bet was real, she may have just been very kinky and fancied me, but the one armed friend at least was real, lost an arm in an accident, I met him eventually)
The conditions of the bet were either accept a full force slap, or… have sex with someone, each of you slathered in peanut butter and jelly.
So of course, I did the moral thing and prevented a physical assault, lol.
Bought a cheap shower curtain, put it over my bed and uh… yep. PBnJ BJ, PBnJ licked off nipples, noses, ears… all in our hair… all over our bodies… and then the actual sex sandwich.
Didn’t put PBnJ into her uh… cornhole… as that could have led to an infection of some kind, she figured. She uh, cleaned me off before the sandwich got fully pressed together.
Oh, and the bonus shower sex while cleaning off.
We set aside an entire Saturday for this, I had to map out all my roommates schedules so as to… minimize the chances of having to answer a knock at the door… entirely covered in pb and j.
Sadly, I guess, we were uh, too busy to take any pictures of this… but how’s that for food related stuff you do or do not think you could be convinced to do?
oh I hope it was at least creamy peanut butter…
Uh, ahah yes, it was.
Already had 2 moderately nutty people, arguably also two additional decently sized nuts on one of those nutty people… no need for any more nuts.
But you didn’t answer the question!
… would that be uh, too much for you, you think you could talk some into, or get talked into that?
Ah no, I’m really not into WAM - I’ve done it once or twice but it both does not play well with the ol’ autism and it’s just so miserable to clean up afterwards. All that laundry…
WAM?
Is that… ok, I had to look that one up, didn’t realize there’s an acronym for that.
But, couple of things:
I’m also autistic, and I’m pretty sure my partner for that was as well. But also I guess different textured strokes for different folks.
Also, we didn’t have to do any laundry. That’s why we got an extra shower curtain, managed to contain it all on top of that.
We stripped down fully and put our stuff in a bag prior to uh, festivity commencement, to just double make sure it wouldn’t get messy.
And we had also figured it would get all in our hair and thus pre-planned the shower schedule so we’d up to an hour long shower, if need be.
But but but, you answered my question, so thank you; I’m not trying to change your mind, just doing the autism thing and overexplaining.
I’m not trying to change your mind, just doing the autism thing and overexplaining.
Lol no worries I picked up on the subtle signs of sympathetic autistic vibes (or uh… something like that).
Yeahhh, it’s just a textural thing with me. Can’t stand the sensation :(
I’d cover you in butter!
I Don’t Believe It’s Actually Butter™
Only one way to find out!
Way ahead of you, already working on getting it thoroughly slathered up…
(super awkward pose lol)
The best possible use of that gif, A+ and a gold star
I HAVE to try this
The hardest part was
the fans after I posted thisfinding corn in december, I had to go to three stores to get any. HIGHLY recommend you do though, and not least because this becoming a trend would make me happy beyond measure.Nothing will ever be as hard as your fans after one of your posts.
![I hear we're doing cornography now? 🌽[F][OC]](https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/5cd32128-8466-4555-a0ca-12bee3006208.jpeg){kind=link}